

The idea of limits of knowledge and blind spots.

It’s not terribly productive and if somebody’s suffering is real to them, then it’s real. In addition, one of the biggest obstacles to empathy is quantifying / ranking people’s suffering. Often, people aren’t looking for a solution, but to have someone “sit with them in their pain,” as she puts it. Listening and showing empathy are super important. The idea is that people are often evasive or don’t even know what they really want to talk about. Ways to do this might be “questioning the question.” (why did you ask that?) or noting what the patient is not talking about. But does them anyway when she’s the clientĪnother interesting thread was the idea of unpacking questions to find out what’s really on the clients’ mind. As a therapist, she knows all the evasive and nonproductive things that clients can do. If your patient shares a challenge they’re going through, sharing something similar that you’ve experienced can help provide a sense of safety and encourage them to open up more So, having a dynamic relationship with your patient, where you let them know how they’re making you feel, is important And the way the patient acts “on the couch” is how they act in the real world. But, she argues, therapy is about interaction with others. As a therapist, you might think that you need to have a purely professional relationship with your client and ignore any feelings that you feel. One of the biggest themes of the book is that therapists bring themselves into the room as well. Maybe You Should Talk To Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb (432 pages) Summary The result is a book that’s fun to read, emotionally resonant, and “useful.” She also adds in a decent amount of self-disclosure and her own humanity – while educating the reader about her work. First, she is a very good writer who writes engaging prose. As a result, the book feels richer and provides a satisfying view into her life. And then, she details her experience receiving therapy, which she does post-breakup. She also tells us about her personal life, in which she is reeling after her serious boyfriend breaks up with her. We learn about her life as a therapist – how she feels about different clients, the breakthroughs and the frustrations. Gottlieb answers these questions and more in the book, which is a memoir with several strands. What is it like to be a therapist? To be privy to so many people’s lives, their anxieties, their rawest emotions, the things they’ve never told anyone? Do therapists judge their clients – or worry about being judged by them?
